I still think that this post retains some merit; if taken as hyperbole, its words retain their integrity. However, Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." And that verse makes the following post, taken literally, look a bit stupid. But I have opted to leave it up anyway. I have no qualms displaying my sporadic stupidity--it's part of who I am. [added May 25, 2007]...
Sometimes insomnia leads to epiphany. Here's mine for the night, for the day, for whatever:
So God creates light and planets and water and sky and fish and birds and insects and lemmings and Keith Richards and whatever else. His creative impulses finally end up driving him to create man. He sees that all this is pretty good--except for the fact that man is alone, with no suitable companion. God sorts through all the animals, letting man name them one and all. Still no suitable companion. Did God honestly think he was going to end up coming to, say, the duck-billed platypus and decide, "yeah, that'll work"? Well, that's not how it ended up. They went through all the animals and still couldn't find any sort of meaningful companionship for man. So we all know the story: God put man to sleep, took part of his side, and made woman. So that solved the problem--woman was found as a meaningful companion, suitable for man. ...
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I'm beginning to think "no." Here's my insomniac epiphany: I think that God created woman as a means to create other men, so that man could have meaningful companionship, because trying to get anything meaningful out of a woman is like trying to squeeze orange-juice out of a Renoir.
God knew that it was not good for man to be alone, so he devised a clever scheme to increase and perpetuate our numbers, so that we might sit in groups around camp-fires, drinking beer and talking crap about the workings of the universe.
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7 comments:
with that whole orange juice thing, i've seen it done.
Watch out for self-fulfilling prophecies here; that's a pretty powerful girl-repelling magnet you've got posted. Perhaps squeezing is not something you're supposed to do to a Renoir.
i cannot see in this blog anywhere where prophesies have been made. the point of my diatribe is that i don't think much of girls right now. so i'm fine if this attitude repels them. furthermore, from what i have hitherto observed, this kind of attitude actually attracts girls (a fact which, i reiterate, is currently irrelevant to me). they seem to love jerks. at best, girls are attracted to the shallow guy (not necessarily the bad guy) under a crappy, candy-coated veneer of sophistication and depth, opting for simulated wood grain rather than genuine oak--there's nothing i can do about that. personally, i exalt substance over aesthetic, a preference which constitues a disparaging, irreconcilable difference between me and the fairer sex. my complaints have less to do with my particular circumstances than they do with the slipshod, overarching framework of existence.
--the management
...and, of course you aren't supposed to squeeze a Renoir. i choose my words carefully when writing, so let's scrutinize the expansion of this metaphor into the territory of analogy:
1) Renoir paintings are useful; they serve a purpose.
2) Orange juice is useful; it serves a purpose.
3) I have reasons to like both Renoir paintings and orange juice.
4) Renoir paintings are fun to look at, but if you need nutrients, if you need your thirst quenched, they serve no purpose toward the end of that need.
5) If you will extend the analogy here, i am at place where i need something to drink, and i am very bored with art.
6) At best, analogies are weak reflections, not perfection replicated from the original. Their purpose is to help us get a glimpse of things from a different angle. So Renoirs do not equal girls any more than OJ equals the company of substantial friends. I acknowledge this.
--the management
My intent was never to offend; my reply was only meant to be a gentle warning against putting too much in print that can bite you in the ass later if you change your mind, from someone who's been down that road. And you better change your mind.
I assure you that not all girls like jerks. That's just not the kind of girl you want. There are others. There are amazing people in this world, and you have to figure some of them are female. But posting a rant on your page that makes sweeping generalizations against womankind and inter-gender relationships isn't going to help your likelihood of meeting one. I know you're pissed off, but I also know you're a better guy than that, and I won't have you misrepresenting yourself as a jerk.
Sure, this world will never stop disappointing you, but it also will never stop surprising you, and you have to take the good with the bad. Don't you dare wall off a section of this world and stop looking for good in it. Don't you dare forsake hope for bitterness.
i wasn't offended. i like to wrestle. your response gave me an opportunity to wrestle with the text and with the ideas presented. that's what i do, like it or not.
in other news, i have only two areas of my life in which i have been surprised in the last seven or eight years. surprises are drying up these days. it's hard to be surprised when you know how it all ends.
maybe God was showing men that the true companion is ribs.. they taste great, and they don't play you like a set of drums. we should all eat more ribs.
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