Ruins.

A sense of purpose is essential. Sometimes I feel like I am an afterthought in the economy of God's creation. It's kind of hard to stay happy about being alive when there seems to be little meaning in it.

I quit putting up posters in my room when I was fifteen. I knew my family was just going to move after a few months anyway, so why bother trying to maintain any sort of facade that would suggest a sense of permanence? If we're going to effectively function as nomads, why not look the part? I fought the transient nature of my existence for about a year when I was 23. The ironic act of putting posters on the wall after I had packed up and moved to Colorado has never struck me as significant until this moment. Why then? What made me think things were going to solidify in the wake an act that so visibly demonstrated my identity as a vagabond?

Most people who prize the freedom to move do so from a position of safety. Try having that sort of detachment forced upon you in the most traumatic moments of your life. Try having that happen in the midst of getting used to the idea of terra firma.

I don't have a space to call my own at the moment. I feel very displaced--not because I don't have designated living quarters, but because I just keep drifting around aimlessly. I think all of this somehow connects to my fascination with the sci-fi conceit of the zombie apocalypse. I can relate to the idea of waning humanity in the midst of disintegrating ruins. But I also relate to the zombies. I know what it feels like to wander aimlessly, dead to purpose. Zombies have no living quarters; zombies do not put posters on the wall.

Sometimes all you need is a fully automatic, gas-powered, low-recoil 12-gauge shotgun. And a nifty theme song.

For further details, watch the video in my Sunday, April 5th post, then follow the link in the comments section to Dan's new song. It will all make sense.

Same guy, with a moustache.

It's the same guy.

yep.

One more.

Here's one more song by Zero 7. I all but demand that Icarus Aquanaut cover one of their songs. I think this would probably be the best one to do.

By the way, my birthday is in June. You know, in case you want to buy me something.

Chicks with Scottish accents.

I'm usually a guy who falls for the girl-next-door type. Shirley Manson is my one notable exception to this rule. Viva 1995.